From Audrey-
Some may know that Marilyn's grandchildren sometimes called her "Fancy Grandmommy." It was a name I bestowed upon her as a toddler, because it was the most obvious way to distinguish her from my two other grandmothers - she had a beloved white dog named Fancy. As I got older and spoke with friends about my Fancy Grandmommy, they were amused, assuming that I called her that because she was a "fancy" lady. It never occurred to me before then, and it was humorous to think about me calling her fancy due to a lavish or extravagant lifestyle. That was certainly not her style! In fact, my earliest memories of visiting Fancy was at "The Barn" tucked away in a forest in Denton. In my memory, it was a small and cozy cabin that smelled of cedar and it felt magical. She has always had the most interesting nature-inspired trinkets dispersed throughout any house she's lived in. Each one with its own special story. I would get lost in a world of wonder playing with them, making music. I learned a lot from her about Native American traditions, "medicine" and "totems" from her. In fact I am pretty sure I liked to tell my friends she was a Cherokee Indian (around the time we were learning about them in school - why else would she have so much "indian stuff" about?).
Once my family moved to Amarillo (my elementary through high school years), we weren't able to see Fancy Grandmommy as much. But, skilled as she was with the computer, she found ways to stay connected with us. She would send us her blog postings, articles that made her think about us (often from Good News Network), blessings for when we went on trips (which tended to make her quite uneasy), and of course asked us for photos and about what we were up to lately. For one of her birthdays our family gave her an Aura Frame - a frame that allowed us to all upload pictures for her that would display as a slideshow. She kept it by her computer and she would always let me know how much she enjoyed the new photos we added.
In 2015 I moved to Austin where she was living, which meant more visits to my Fancy Grandmommy's house - this time a small cabin by Lake Austin. As I write this, I see flashing scenes of me walking in her door over the years at different stages of my life and with the full gamut of emotions. Excited to tell her about a new boyfriend, a new job, travels... coming over with a heavy heart, feelings of hopelessness... proudly introducing my future husband and stepson... and especially sentimental, introducing her to Phoenix, her great grandbaby. One of my most special visits was when I was feeling rather down and she offered to read me my Native American totem animals. To this day I think about them (and her) and draw on their wisdom.
Fancy Grandmommy's health kept her cooped up in her house, but there are a couple of times she left her home which really left a mark on me. The first was when I asked her to walk with me down to the edge of the water to look at the birds. She was a bit nervous, since walking down to the water meant walking back up. But we took our time and we sat quietly together, tuned into nature's sounds and smells. The second time was at my wedding, which was at my mom's house (just a few minutes down the road). I believe this was the last time she left her house, except as necessary for medical appointments. It meant the world to me that she was there. She was radiant as ever.
Not too long ago, after Fancy had moved into a nursing home, I was feeling especially overwhelmed and emotional. I got in my car and drove without a destination in mind. I ended up finding myself in her old neighborhood, parked by the playground in front of her house and walked down to the water. I took some deep breaths and thought of her and eventually calmed down. I saw flashes of lightening and the thunder boomed. Even though I wasn't quite ready to leave, I thought about how she would react if she saw me outside in the stormy conditions. I chuckled and got back in the car and drove home.
I miss and love you Fancy Grandmommy. Thank you for all the special memories and making me feel loved.
Love,
Audrey
Some of my favorite photos of her: https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B195fk75vGmZD2R;A36BCD08-E828-443A-A98D-22468E0B7AD3
No comments:
Post a Comment