In Memory of a Big Little Man

 John Nance Garner V 

"I am John Nance Garner. I come for a long line of John Nance Garners. My grandfather's brother, John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner III, was the Vice-President of the United States for two terms under Roosevelt. My father, John Nance Garner lV, was involved in politics, but not in a national capacity. So here I am, John Nance Garner V. I strayed from the political path, and was a disk jockey for thirty years.

"I act at the Denton Community Theater, do art work, and have written my first novel 'Good Bad and Oh My God.'" 

The above short bio John wrote on his Amazon book page, where you can purchase e-books he has written. After his first book in 2012, he went on to write "The Garners: From a beautiful Welsh woman accused of Witchcraft to a heartbeat away from the presidency", "Thank God Elephants Don't Fly", and his last book "Old Billy", his take on Billy the Kid that he finished in 2017.

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I lost a dear friend on May 24th. Although his name was John, those of us who knew him called him "Jack". Jack was one of the first persons I met when I started attending Unity Church of Denton in 1989. He really admired the Unity Licensed Teacher we had at the time, Ellen Davis. She had held her first study group in a motel, which Jack attended along with a few other local folks interested in the Unity beliefs. He remained a member for many years, although Ellen Davis didn't return until she was ordained a Unity minister. The church is now known as Unity Spiritual Center of Denton, located in a nearby suburb of Denton, Texas. Shortly before Jack was admitted to hospice care, he was glad that Ellen would be available to conduct his funeral service, and he outlined plans for his wishes. I cried when he shared that with me on one of our last Saturday telephone visits.

For several years after I left Denton in 2001, Jack and I communicated. In the past few years, Jack has called me every Saturday to catch up on the news and his latest endeavor. Most recently his passion was writing Letters to the Editor of the Denton newspaper, the Record-Chronicle. These were primarily political in nature, many of which I posted on this blog. Next to that passion was his morning breakfast at a local coffee shop, where he met with the same circle of men and discussed politics. These were often loud and confrontational - which Jack really enjoyed.

I remember when in his mid-sixties Jack decided he wanted to "create

Judy Dench

art". He knew that I had done a few pastels, so he asked me to show him some of my techniques (which were very amateurish).

Morning Coffee

He was fascinated, so he then took a few lessons. And oh, what lovely portraits Jack was able to paint. They were larger than life, and accomplished by his viewing photographs - many of which he took on yearly visits to a friend in New Orleans. I have one that I cherish that he copied from a photo of me and my two youngest grandchildren.

Fiddle in the Cold

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I posted the following on my blog almost ten years ago. It tells so much about Jack I want to share it again.

“.. My dear friend, Jack Garner, is 73 this month. Jack has gone through many different 'careers' in his life: DJ, actor, artist, barber, hair stylist, and even a stint as a charismatic 'preacher' (his term). From standing on his feet doing folks' hair for so many years, Jack eagerly 'retired' from that profession. After a while, Social Security notwithstanding, Jack determined he still had years of work ahead of him. He started working as a bus monitor for the Denton Independent School District. He rides twice daily picking up special needs children to deliver them to school and back. In the beginning, there was a grown, young man who is over 6-feet tall with the mind of a three-year-old who rode his bus. His name is Trey. Not knowing what to expect, Jack inquired of the driver how he was to handle this man-child should he begin to agitate or turn violent. He was told to sing the children's song, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and that would calm Trey. Jack spent the whole weekend memorizing the words to Twinkle. Twinkle..

Rather than feel the job beneath him, or feel that it was extremely boring, Jack began to fall in love with these special children. With no education or training to do this kind of work, he has presented ideas to his supervisor that have been incorporated into the training program for bus drivers and monitors, as well as others who work with these children. He truly cares what happens to them and doesn't look at them as just people to be shuffled around and given busy work. What wonderful work Jack is doing. If everyone could put as much effort into solving little problems in their world, perhaps we wouldn't have so many big problems. Jack wrote the following:

 THE MAGIC MIRROR "I am trying a new thing with my six children with learning disabilities. One thing learning disabled children have in common is low, low self-esteem. 

I remembered the Louise Hay concept of looking in a mirror and saying I love myself, and how hard it is for many adults to do this. So I introduced the kids to Mr. Jack’s 'magic mirror'. When one of these kids gets on the bus, I get my little hand mirror, lean over the seat in front of them. Then I say (if a boy), 'Look into your handsome eyes in your handsome face and repeat after me: I deeply and completely love and accept myself exactly as I am. Now give yourself a big happy smile'. I've been doing this only two days but have already had some results, well considering the time, I call them outstanding results. 

One little girl with ODD (Oppression Defiant Disorder) usually has a scowl on her face and looks as if she is mad at everybody and everything. I did it with her and when she got off the bus she was still smiling. Marcos, a boy in speech therapy who only learned to speak so he could be understood said 'Hey, this is good'.

I play 'trash can', which is calling out 'trash can' every time we see one, with Andrew, who wants to win so badly (I always let him win except when I need to win to keep him on his toes). Last Friday he asked, 'Who won Mr. Jack?' I told him he did. Then I did the mirror thing with him. Afterwards, as he was getting off the bus, he said, 'Mr. Jack, I don't think I won. I think we tied.' I almost lost my false teeth I was so open-mouthed.

I do this twice a day when they get on and when they get off. I'm hoping it will help them emotionally and I am hoping, hoping, hoping that it will cause them to learn better and quicker. 

You can probably tell I'm very excited about this. I especially wanted to tell you about this because you are familiar with Louise Hay. Wish me and them luck."

(About a week later, JACK wrote the following):

"I am now sure that the magic mirror works. This week the angry little girl with ODD got on the bus, walked up to one little boy and hugged him, then walked back to another little boy and hugged him. Friday when we got to school and I said it was time to go, one of the older children from State School walked over to Trey and said 'Let's go, Trey'. In all the times she has ridden with me she has never done anything like this. She took charge of an issue. I have managed to teach Trey to say 'I love myself' - whether he knows what he's saying or not. I don't know, but I am encouraged. 

I know it helps the children emotionally, now if it only helps them to learn. I do have hopes that it will, but only time will tell. 

Done on a consistent basis, the mirror technique will help any child, not just the ones with learning disabilities. Unless the child is the offspring of the equivalent of saints, negative material will be absorbed by them, and they, in some area, will doubt they are loved. If one doubts they are loved, they will doubt themselves and all that they do. I believe some of this is present in all children and the consistent use of the mirror technique will help them. It is more prevalent in children with learning disabilities, as their intelligence is questioned earlier. I believe the mirror method will help build their self-esteem to the point that they will do better in school. 

Friday my regular driver was out and the Special Needs Assistant drove me and the children. What I didn't know at the time was that he was evaluating both the children and me. He told me at the end of the route he had never been so impressed, and that he was blown away by the improvement in Trey. Needless to say, I was proud as a puffed-up pigeon. I was very proud of the kids."

And I was very proud of you, my good friend!

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As the cancer progressed and I was increasingly aware that I was losing my friend, Jack sensed it and told me more than once that he was not afraid to die, but he was afraid of suffering severe pain. Hospice made certain that he never suffered at the end of his life. God bless them.

Jack's only relative in the Denton area, a nephew, Randy Sherling, is in charge of the funeral arrangements. He advised me that it would probably be another week or so before the service.

In the meantime, Rest in Peace, my friend. I miss you already.

 Marilyn