The Middle Child

The "middle child" often gets a bad rap. Some say that these children are overlooked by their parents and, therefore, do their best to gain attention by any means. They may have to compete with an older sibling by doing more and doing it better. Many follow in the footsteps of this sibling, and are hurt in the process of trying to live up to an image that is not true to their own talents and abilities. Wise parents, like my daughter and son-in-law, help their middle child to develop into the unique person they were meant to be. My granddaughter Ashlyn is a good example of what loving guidance can bring out in a child.

Ashlyn was her own person from a tender age. She decided early on that she did not like to dance like big sis Audrey. Ditto on piano lessons. However, she has continued to please Mom by playing violin, and does that very well indeed.

Ashlyn's mother showed an athletic ability at a young age when she won a race against the boys and became "the fastest kid in first grade" in Bandera, Texas. Ashlyn didn't start that early, but she has been an avid sports participant throughout her school years. Soccer, volleyball, and basketball are her favorites.

Here she is playing for the Lady Cardinals of Ascension Academy which she attends. (Note: looking good! Pretty glam for an athlete..)

She is something of a daredevil as well:

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Don't be fooled by the tomboyish activities. Ashlyn is truly a feminine young lady. She recently surprised us with her talent for writing poetry. She wrote a beautiful tribute to a fallen friend, and I have asked her to consider writing something for the blog. She has maintained a place on the A and B honor roll at the Academy she attends. As the curriculum there is made up of advanced placement courses, that is no easy feat. And, oh yes, Ashlyn has a best friend who goes to the same school,

Ross and Ashlyn

likes the same activities (he plays basketball and golf), takes long bicycle rides with her, and they recently attended their first prom together. As you can see by these photos, Ashlyn is not only smart and talented, but she is becoming a beautiful young woman as well.

Ashlyn, you make this grandmother proud.. It has been a joy watching you grow up, and I look forward to seeing what the future holds for you.

Love and peace,
Marilyn

"No more hurting people..."

©Associated Press, Ken McGagh

"The week from Hell". This is how some newscasters are describing the events of this past week. First the bombing in Boston; then the horrific explosion in West, Texas. One deliberate and one allegedly accidental. The results were the same -- indelible images on our television screens of horror, pain, and anxiety, as the search for the bombers in Boston and the search for more victims in West kept us glued to our television sets. Lives lost. Bodies maimed. Life would never be the same for the victims nor those of us who witnessed the devastation.

As I shed tears, I prayed over and over for the victims, the first responders and volunteers, and the witnesses - especially the tiny ones who must have been terrified. As the days wore on and we discovered the identities of the two young men who perpetrated this attack on the innocent, I found myself sending up prayers for them as well. Especially the younger one. As he was being tracked like an animal, and believed to be wounded, I thought of his youth. He was still only a boy, had to be in pain, and scared out of his mind. His classmates, friends, and teachers all spoke so highly of him. What could anyone, even his older brother do to change him so dramatically?

What happened to what appeared to be happy, well-liked, and seemingly well adjusted young immigrants to our country, that turned them into monsters willing to take the lives of so many? I feel one answer to this for the older one must lie in the trip he took to Russia last year. The months he might have been involved with a radical Islamic group of some kind, being brainwashed and trained to be a killer -- for Allah. How does a religion so twist the minds of followers to condone such massacres as occur much too frequently in our world? How did life become so unbearable for the younger of the two, who seemed to have so much good in his life -- many friends and even a scholarship -- that he could throw that all away by the influence of his older brother?

We may never know the true answers to these questions. The world is filled with violence that is so much more visible than in years past. Remember, these young men were exposed to war and violence on a daily basis as children in their homeland. They sought and found refuge in our United States. They, as all of our young people, have been exposed to more and more frequent violence via the social media, violent video games, television, movies, and the headlines from around the world where man's inhumanity to man is constantly vying for their attention. The often gory images are imprinted on young minds.

Too many people are quick to lay the blame upon Islam. Islam is not the first religion to kill "for the sake of God or Allah". Christianity has a dark past as well. The Crusades, the Inquisition, even the Salem witch trials come to mind. Blaming this horrendous happening upon lax immigration laws is equally fruitless. These young men had been here for a decade, and the younger one was a naturalized citizen. They were not illegal.. or newly arrived. I am by no means condoning the slaughter that took place in Boston. I do believe that punishment should be meted out. If the young man survives, he will likely spend the rest of his life in prison, filled with regret that he wasted the beautiful promises his life in America held. That is the least that he deserves.

One glaring item that caught my attention was the fact that the older brother was tagged by a foreign government as someone the FBI should investigate. They did so, which means they have a file on him. If we had had stricter background checks in place, perhaps when he purchased a gun or at least the gunpowder used in the making of the bombs a flag would have been raised and the tragedy might have been prevented.



The Newtown shootings and the Aurora theater massacre each inflicted more fatalities than Boston. We must not let the Boston bombings deter our resolve to do something about gun control in this country. We have our own homegrown terrorists, produced in part by the availability of assault weapons, high capacity magazines, and ineffective or unenforced background checks. The recent action of the Senate in refusing to pass legislation that would be a start towards reducing the number of guns, and on the path to reducing violence in our country, is absolutely disgusting. They lack the courage to stand up to the gun lobbyists in the form of gun manufacturers and the NRA, which is now controlled by the manufacturers. Polls show that the majority of Americans want this legislation NOW! When are we going to insist our representatives do the will of the people or be voted out??

Martin Richard (R.I.P.)

And when are we going to do as the youngest victim in Boston said, "No more hurting people"?

God bless the wounded, dead, and hurting victims of Boston and West, Texas.

"Peace", Martin,

Marilyn

There was a little girl...

who grew up to be the beautiful woman at the left. My daughter Carajean is a remarkable woman in many ways. She has always had an extraordinary amount of determination, and when she set a goal for herself, she obtained it no matter what obstacles stood in the way. She underwent surgeries that kept her jaws wired shut for two months at a time, and continued to work a full-time job, a part-time job, and go to college part-time at night. In more recent times, she has become a triumphant breast cancer survivor for over ten years.

As a very petite eleven-year-old in Albuquerque, Carrie came home one day and informed me she wished to play the cello (her friend played cello). I was taken aback because I couldn't picture tiny Carrie lugging a big cello to school, so I convinced her she would be better off playing the viola. From the beginning, her music teachers told me Carrie had a natural ability. She soon played in a performance with the Albuquerque Junior Symphony Orchestra. Upon moving to Dallas, she continued her music lessons, and was invited to play in the Dallas Junior Symphony Orchestra. For some reason, she quickly became bored with that. When she was in the 8th grade, Carajean played her viola alongside her music teacher with two professional orchestras at Easter performances. To maintain her amateur status for state level competition, we had to have her return the money she was paid, which did not sit well with our 13-year-old.

In high school, Carajean moved with her father and stepmother to a city where orchestra was not offered. I was so sad to see her put her viola aside. She played again briefly after graduation while living and studying in Pennsylvania, but again gave it up when she decided to go to college.   She laid down her viola again, not to pick it up for many years. She went on to get her degree in biology, and then attended medical school for a Physician's Assistant degree.

(Carajean practices while helping Mom move.)

After college, a brief career as a Physician's Assistant, marriage, and three children, Carajean decided to make music again -- much to this mother's delight. She played viola, enrolled her girls in the Suzuki method of playing violin; and when her son came along he learned the cello by the same method at a very young age. I don't believe any of the children have the passion for music that Carrie did as a child, but they each continue to play (and play very well indeed) 'til this day. Carajean eventually switched instruments, and now plays violin. She has played with the Amarillo College Chamber Orchestra for the past 17 years. This past weekend her daughter Audrey joined her when the orchestra performed in concert. Carajean is in the front row middle, and daughter Audrey (with bangs) is behind her:

Amarillo College Chamber Orchestra

Next week, Carajean will perform in her first "professional" concert -- at least one when she will be able to keep whatever remuneration she receives! She will play with the West Texas A and M University Choir and Symphony Orchestra, accompanied by the East New Mexico State Choir. They will perform Mozart's Requiem - the piece Mozart was hired to write at the age of 36, and did not live to finish. She is bubbling over with excitement, as she loves this piece. 

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Carrie may not be very happy that I used this venue to brag on her, but I feel that she has a God-given talent. Each of us came to this earth with a purpose -- in some cases, many purposes. Something as precious as a gift of musical talent will not be ignored, even if one waits as many years as my daughter did! Although to play professionally was not a "goal" of Carajean's, she dreamed of playing music at a very young age. It goes to show that it is never too late to realize a dream. One of my daughter's purposes is surely to make beautiful music - and she plays for the sheer joy of it.

Of course, I am also happy she laid aside her musical instrument when she did. Otherwise, she might not have met my wonderful son-in-law Branch in Medical School! And I might not have had the three beautiful grandchildren they gave me...                                                                                                                   

Peace, love, and beautiful music to you all,

Marilyn

COMING TO AUSTIN by Doctor Bob

"One semester at TCU while living with my father was enough, so I left Ft. Worth to enroll at the University of Texas and to be near the lady who later became my first wife. It was that easy in those days. You just showed up at the registrar's office, presented your transcript, and you were in.

My father, of whom it could have been said treated his sons with benign neglect - had it been benign, said goodbye. I headed to Austin in a 1931 Model A Ford with my belongings, two checks for $125 each, and two pints of Old Crow, which my father had thoughtfully bestowed.

It was January 31, 1949. I had just turned 17. Some will recall that date, as it got to 0 degrees that morning; more will remember four days later when it reached -5 below, the record for Austin. Weather forecasting in those days was rather primitive. Cold and snow was predicted for Ft. Worth, but as I was headed south and being 17 and bulletproof, I took to the road with no qualms. I made Waco by dark on roads that by then were covered by snow, and was cautioned not to proceed, as conditions were deteriorating. Reason with a teenager? Forget it. South of Waco the problems started.

My '31 Ford had an electric fuel pump, which was not designed to function at zero degrees. When it froze up, the engine would stop and I would sit by the side of the road until the heat from the engine would thaw it out and I could then proceed another 5-10 miles before it froze again. This process was successfully repeated and got me to the edge of Austin where the pump said "No Mas". The radiator was okay as I had previously, with tears in my eyes, had the foresight to pour in a pint and a half of perfectly good whiskey, saving enough for emergencies like snakebite. By now it's around midnight, and not considering my circumstances a problem, I put on several layers of clothing and settled in with Mr. Crow to await the thaw.

Some may remember the Skyline, a country and western dance hall and beer joint, where my second, and last, wife introduced me to Waylon and Willie and the Boys in the early 70s. It sat at what is now North Lamar and Breaker until replaced by that fungoid growth, the shopping center. My resting place on what was now February 1st afforded me a view of the Skyline about a mile away on the next hill. The snow and ice covered Dallas Highway, now North Lamar, dipped down from my hill and up to the Skyline, making a perfect toboggan run for the unsuspecting motorists. About every 15 minutes or so a vehicle would creep past me and, reaching the downslope, begin a slow motion, out-of-control slide to the bottom of the hill and join, with a gentle crash, the growing detritus of cars and trucks which had previously made the run. I, of course, thought this was great fun as it looked like a surreal illuminated ballet, with the pirouetting headlights illuminating the surrounding woods as they hastened to join the growing light display below. What with snow in the air and on the ground, there was no sound.

I don't know how long I enjoyed this hypnotic silent movie, but I was dozing when someone rapped on my window. It seems that the wreckers and police with chains on their tires had arrived and were hauling the reluctant sledders up the hill, and most could proceed without assistance. My visitor was a policeman and my waking thoughts were, "what have I done now?" He asked if I was okay, and I replied that I was just fine and inquired about his health.  Fate sometimes protects the innocent. This cop was a genuinely nice guy, and was concerned about me. He said I could not survive where I was and asked if I had a place to stay, and with the information in hand, tied onto my front bumper. Autos had functional bumpers then, thankfully, instead of the disposable paper mache stops with which we are now blessed. He delivered me to the boardinghouse where I was to share an 8x10 room with two other unfortunates, on the corner of 22nd and Rio Grande. It was an aging and deteriorating mansion, which has since been restored and now displays an historical marker."

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After publishing Doctor Bob's first post a few days ago, my son Matthew told me that he doesn't think of Doctor Bob as a father figure, but more like an uncle or a good friend. I asked why, as I thought the age difference might be more like father/son. Matt went on to inform me that their relationship did not place all the expectations upon him that a parent would! No demands, just friendship. I've given that a lot of thought! 

Doctor Bob (aka Robert Roberts, DDS) is also a fine cook. Here he is last Thanksgiving getting ready  to carve the turkey he cooked and brought to our dinner.

Now about that Easter ham, Bob...

Love, Peace, and a blessed Easter to you all,

Marilyn

YOU SPOKE AND I LISTENED

My last blog post generated a lot of hits on the internet. Gun control is on the minds of many. Not only here in the U.S., but in other countries as well. 

From my friends I have some feedback that I thought I would toss out there for you readers. The first is from a good friend and former classmate from high school who now lives in Oklahoma City. Here's what June had to say:

"I couldn't agree with your latest blog post more. I just don't understand all the paranoia concerning all these guns, especially assault weapons, and the people in this country (especially in Oklahoma) who cannot feel fully clothed without these atrocities. If the latest horror in Connecticut didn't get through to these people, I don't think anything can."

Another old friend, Jack Garner (John Nance Garner, V), who has written a couple of guest columns for me, is also a frequent  published contributor to the Denton Record-Chronicle (DRC). Never one to pull any punches, he sent me the following:

"I was eating breakfast at What-A-Burger after my morning bus run when this man walked in with a friend. Both are older men, and both were dressed in camouflage shirts and pants. 

I knew one of the men. His name is Floyd V*** who retired from the University of North Texas where he taught math.. and he's very good at finance. I believe he is a millionaire. He is also a right-wing religious nut job.

He saw me and walked up, but paused at a distance from my table and said, 'Well, I guess your man got to be President.' I said, 'Heck, Floyd, you know he did.'

Floyd answered, 'You know he's going to take our guns away from us.' And I told him, 'Floyd, he's never said anything about taking our guns. He wants to ban assault rifles and multi-shot clips.'

'Do you have any guns,' he asked. 'Sure I do.'

'Well, I hope he gets yours.' 'I'm not real worried about it, Floyd.'

'When I handle my guns, I think about shooting you.' And he turned and left. In spite of his math ability, he is really an Oklahoma redneck, and he was gone before I thought, 'Heck, he sounds like he's making a death threat!'

Takes all kinds to make a world, unfortunately.'"

After this encounter, Jack was inspired to send the following letter to the editor of the DRC, and they published it:

"The Government is coming to take your guns, and if that makes you shake in your BVDs; if it makes you want to rush out and buy another gun, the NRA and the gun manufacturers of America know how to push your buttons. I've heard that tired old pitch for fifty years, and you know, nobody from the government has knocked on my door and said, 'Gimme!' 

Be honest, has President Obama said or even suggested he wants your guns? No he hasn't, but the NRA has tried to twist a stand against assault rifles and multi-bullet gun clips into 'The Government is coming to get your guns.' The NRA is supported by and takes its marching orders from the gun manufacturers of America, and they couldn't care less what happens to and with their guns once they leave the manufacturing plant and are sold in the stores.

They don't care if their guns kill fathers' and mothers' babies or you as long as the cash keeps rolling in. 

They don't care if their guns eventually make their way into the hands of criminals.

When is the last time you had to pull a gun in self-defense? When is the last time you had to repel a mob with an assault rifle? The weapon manufacturers want you to fear that you will have to in a hypothetical future. Why? That fear translates into gun sales. Gun sales mean more cash, and that is the only goal and purpose they have."

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Another family friend, Cliffie, from the Dallas area sent me links to two good articles. One reflecting the NRA's position:    NRA Speaks

The second one amazed me. Can you believe that some think that we need assault weapons because Iran may invade the U.S.?   Protection Against Invasions

(From the Minnesota Post)

Dallas Gun Shop

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Finally, another family friend took issue with my comment about the Trayvon Martin shooting in Florida. I explained to him that my main argument regarding that killing was that the self-appointed "vigilante" type man who did the shooting ignored police warnings to stand back and wait for a patrol car when he called and told them of the "suspicious" person he was following. This man was not a legitimate security guard or any kind of law enforcement. I think he was just some guy who felt the gun he had made him macho, and he wanted to prove himself by taking down a would-be intruder in the neighborhood. Even our law enforcement people are suspended and sometimes even charged for shooting an unarmed suspect -- even if the suspect was a known criminal.

'Nuff said on this subject. I really hope and pray that our representatives listen to the majority of American people who wish to see the gun control laws strengthened -- especially the ban on assault weapons and high volume gun magazines.

Peace,

Marilyn

ARE WE A STUPID NATION?

Recent Headlines on Shootings in U.S.

There have always been shootings in this country. Mass killings, domestic violence, police shootouts, and homicides. With very, very rare exceptions -- and I do not count "stand your ground" killings such as the Trayvon Martin one in Florida (that man went "hunting" for his victim armed with a gun), you do not see headlines about people shooting someone in self-defense or defense of one's home or property. Every gun owner I know of who talks of the "right to bear arms" cites their reason is that they wish to protect their home and loved ones. How often is that really necessary in our country? Not nearly so often as the senseless gun violence we hear or read about every day .

Then there are the ones who refer to the notion we may need to protect ourselves like the patriots of old.. from an oppressive government. Really? Recently, I saw the image below on another blog. I think it relates to what I feel is the stupidity of these people. As if even an arsenal of assault weapons would keep them safe if the government wished to come after them. And we sure don't have to worry these days about being attacked by Indians (unless you are a female in India, that is). Even if you were to be burglarized in your home, a handgun would be easier to keep close at hand for protection than an assault weapon. Wouldn't it? Or an old time shotgun? What logical reason can be given for wanting to own an assault weapon unless you are a member of law enforcement?

No, I don't think we are a stupid nation. However, I do think the majority of the public is being duped by the gun manufacturers and the NRA. It's all about the money. Our representatives in Congress who are against the assault weapon ban are fearful of losing the powerful support of the gun lobbyists. Or maybe their seat in Congress. It truly is a shame that doing the right thing is no longer true of our representatives.

Daily News Cover March 20th

Children of the Sandy Hook Massacre

There are way too many guns in this country. Stopping the sale of assault weapons and high capacity ammunition magazines will only be a drop in the bucket, but at least it will be a start towards more responsible, sensible gun ownership. If this is not done, as the newspaper says, "Shame on U.S."!

Then all we have to worry about are all the weapons already out there in the hands of criminals and white supremacist groups. 

What do you think? 

Peace,

Marilyn

DOCTOR BOB

Special people show up in our lives from time to time. Affectionately known by my family as "Doctor Bob" (aka Bob, Bobby, or Robert L. Roberts, DDS), he is one of those very special people. When my younger son Matthew married Amy they moved to a lovely house on Doe Valley Lane here in Austin. Doctor Bob and his adorable wife Betty were their neighbors, and quickly became close friends. After more than ten years, I would have to say they are more like another set of parents for Matt and Amy.

Doctor Bob holding court.

When Doctor Bob "speaks", we wish to hear what he has to say. He shares his wisdom freely with the young folks. I recently asked him to furnish me with some of that wisdom and some of his "stories" to share with my friends and other family members. This is the first installment.

A little background info first. Doctor Bob spent 8 years in the University of Texas system - four years here in Austin and four years at UT Dental School in Houston. He then practiced general dentistry in Austin for 36 years, retiring in 1994. "Retiring" certainly didn't mean tired to him! Not even slowing down.

Pictured left to right, Doctor Bob, Rich Harrison, and Ernie Fortenberry, members of a group who enjoy two hours of doubles at the Pharr Tennis Center two or three times a week. Bob and Rich are 80 years young and Ernie is the youngest at 79 years.

Doctor Bob states, "They are not unusual. You'll find their likes at almost any tennis center anywhere. It is indeed a game for life!"

"I was 8 years old when I was handed a racquet at Camp Stewart outside of Kerrville, Texas, and told to go hit a ball. It was love at first stroke, and I have been a tennis player all my life. In my youth, I played for the exercise; in my dotage I find that I must exercise to play the tennis...Morning stretching, 5-pound weights and elastics when I'm not swimming in the lake or cutting firewood. Anything to keep the joints and muscles moving. With the aging process in each muscle fiber, some protein is being replaced by fat no matter what we do. All we can do is slow the process. Senescence is a bitch.

The mental benefits of stepping on a tennis court are equally important. At this age, with the testosterone levels disappearing, winning is reduced to a side benefit. We play as friends, laugh at our dumb shots, and cheer the perfect ones. It's the camaraderie along with the cardio stress that is important. Exercise is nature's reboot of the psyche -- you may quote me on that."

Matthew and his surrogate dad, Doctor Bob

Thank you Doctor Bob for the insight into your magnificent lifestyle and physical fitness at age 80! We all should heed your advice in hopes to be as healthy -- and happy as you when we reach your age.

Now where are my hand weights? Hmmm.. mine are only 2 pounds. Will that help?

Peace and good health to you all,
Marilyn